What Coldplay Would Sound Like

...if they didn't suck: One Day Like This

Elbow is opening for Coldplay on their US tour later this year, so the Brit band may start to build an audience here, but I think the bill should be reversed. I liked Coldplay for about 3 months in 1999 when FNX was the only station playing "Yellow," but then I realized that (a) Chris Martin sings through his nose; and (b) when posed with the choice between rocking and sucking, Coldplay invariably chooses the latter. Practically all of their big hits have a bridge where I'm just waiting for the clash of a good, distortion-laced guitar solo, and instead, the tempo slows and a piano starts to tinkle. Musical blueballs. Elbow doesn't do that.