Dewey Defeats Boston Now

Building on the success of their groundbreaking primary coverage (what was your deadline, dinnertime?), Boston NOW will shortly be launching several exciting new features:

• A roundup of yesterday's weather from around the region
• Updates on celebrities who have done nothing interesting lately
• Stocks you would have bought or sold yesterday if you knew anything about investing
• Tomorrow's Mass Millions numbers, as reported by their correspondent on the other side of the International Date line

Mind you, this serves as an excellent reminder that Boston Now's business is not to report on news, it's to hire sketchy minimum-wage dropouts to force-feed subway riders 12 pages of mobile phone and tire ads lightly battered with "content," a term which is used in much the same way as that old gal with the hairnet in the cafeteria handles a gallon can of butterscotch pudding.

  ¶ 8:47 AM