Thursday, January 10, 2008
A Complete and Utter Lack of Taste and Decorum
The 12oz Crate and Barrel martini glass.
The only thing that should be served in a 12-ounce glass is Coca-Cola. American beer (whose charms should not be underestimated) is, like Chef Boyardee, best consumed cold direct from the can, while any decent serious beer should be 16 ounces, or better still, a proper imperial pint, unless it's one of those Belgian whifferdills steeped with boysenberries or a whole Christmas tree (ornaments included) in which case the brewer provides the correct utensils. The only marginally reasonable thing to serve in a 12-ounce cocktail-shaped glass is a banana split.
Now, there is some case for a 6-8 ounce cocktail glass, such as in a raucous bar where spillage might be a problem. Professional drinkers might object that this is precisely why honest American swill comes in cheap longneck bottles, but I have no problem with women or gay men who want a cosmo even when a Budweiser is really more appropriate. Any port in a storm, I say, though I prefer a Warre's myself.
Notwithstanding, if you can't keep from spilling most of a 3-ounce martini in a glass of the proper size, perhaps you should be sitting down, and if you can't hold your alcohol sitting down, then even I might say it's time to say "when," or at least "beer." ¶ 1:48 PM
The 12oz Crate and Barrel martini glass.
The only thing that should be served in a 12-ounce glass is Coca-Cola. American beer (whose charms should not be underestimated) is, like Chef Boyardee, best consumed cold direct from the can, while any decent serious beer should be 16 ounces, or better still, a proper imperial pint, unless it's one of those Belgian whifferdills steeped with boysenberries or a whole Christmas tree (ornaments included) in which case the brewer provides the correct utensils. The only marginally reasonable thing to serve in a 12-ounce cocktail-shaped glass is a banana split.
Now, there is some case for a 6-8 ounce cocktail glass, such as in a raucous bar where spillage might be a problem. Professional drinkers might object that this is precisely why honest American swill comes in cheap longneck bottles, but I have no problem with women or gay men who want a cosmo even when a Budweiser is really more appropriate. Any port in a storm, I say, though I prefer a Warre's myself.
Notwithstanding, if you can't keep from spilling most of a 3-ounce martini in a glass of the proper size, perhaps you should be sitting down, and if you can't hold your alcohol sitting down, then even I might say it's time to say "when," or at least "beer." ¶ 1:48 PM
